I'm always going on about not making toys and colors gendered but when it came to buying my son a winter coat, I was cowardly.
I went to The Tannery to buy a hard-to-come-by book on Rita Angus and, as I always suspected I would, got lured in to buying other things.
The shops are some of the best in Christchurch and they're all right next to each other.
I tried not to be seduced but I failed.
I got my RA book and then noticed a flower shop with a large cactus that I immediately fell in love with.
If you are the type of person who keeps what you would call a "prized cactus," just know that I get you. Totally.
I wandered into a store with a selection of reindeer hides and found one that was white with a few grey spots. I gazed lovingly at it for a few minutes before images of Alex spilling things on it and tramping dirt into it filled my mind.
For the first time in New Zealand I found what looked like jadeite and the lady who owned the store told me they call it "milk glass" over here (which explains why nobody knows what I'm talking about when I ask for jadeite). It wasn't Fire King so I guess another company has started making replicas. I bought some lavender soap instead.
I bought some fancifully-scented melts at another shop ("Asian moon" was the name of one) and almost made it out alive but for the children's clothing shop right at the exit.
Alex needed a new winter coat and I found a beautiful red number right by the register. The only thing that gave me pause was the lining which contained little sprays of roses.
"That's a girl's coat," my sub-conscience said. "Nuh uh," my conscience answered.
I needed validation. It was so pathetic of me. I wanted the saleslady to tell me it was okay to buy the coat for my son and as it cost $140, she was happy to oblige.
I bought it and immediately started imagining the conversations I would have with Nick and Alex's daycare:
"Look, it keeps the boy warm. He's not going to care."
At not-quite-four, Alex has already started coming home and telling me certain things are "boy things" and others are "girl things" which I always tell him is nonsense. I say those things are for whoever wants and likes them.
But conversations at home aren't the same as public displays of non-traditional "gender specific" items.
I took the coat to Nick at his work site. I told him not to get all red-blooded West Coaster on me.
"Our son's going to look like Paddington," he said.
I'm fine with that. The bear was a snazzy dresser.
Anyway, here's the coat:
I went to The Tannery to buy a hard-to-come-by book on Rita Angus and, as I always suspected I would, got lured in to buying other things.
The shops are some of the best in Christchurch and they're all right next to each other.
I tried not to be seduced but I failed.
I got my RA book and then noticed a flower shop with a large cactus that I immediately fell in love with.
If you are the type of person who keeps what you would call a "prized cactus," just know that I get you. Totally.
I wandered into a store with a selection of reindeer hides and found one that was white with a few grey spots. I gazed lovingly at it for a few minutes before images of Alex spilling things on it and tramping dirt into it filled my mind.
For the first time in New Zealand I found what looked like jadeite and the lady who owned the store told me they call it "milk glass" over here (which explains why nobody knows what I'm talking about when I ask for jadeite). It wasn't Fire King so I guess another company has started making replicas. I bought some lavender soap instead.
I bought some fancifully-scented melts at another shop ("Asian moon" was the name of one) and almost made it out alive but for the children's clothing shop right at the exit.
Alex needed a new winter coat and I found a beautiful red number right by the register. The only thing that gave me pause was the lining which contained little sprays of roses.
"That's a girl's coat," my sub-conscience said. "Nuh uh," my conscience answered.
I needed validation. It was so pathetic of me. I wanted the saleslady to tell me it was okay to buy the coat for my son and as it cost $140, she was happy to oblige.
I bought it and immediately started imagining the conversations I would have with Nick and Alex's daycare:
"Look, it keeps the boy warm. He's not going to care."
At not-quite-four, Alex has already started coming home and telling me certain things are "boy things" and others are "girl things" which I always tell him is nonsense. I say those things are for whoever wants and likes them.
But conversations at home aren't the same as public displays of non-traditional "gender specific" items.
I took the coat to Nick at his work site. I told him not to get all red-blooded West Coaster on me.
"Our son's going to look like Paddington," he said.
I'm fine with that. The bear was a snazzy dresser.
Anyway, here's the coat:
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