On Racial Violence

Last night my partner and I got into a huge disagreement over a video of police wrestling with a twelve-year-old African American girl outside a public pool.

It didn't help that the video was from Fox News and featured Megyn Kelly listening patiently while a police spokesperson forcefully defended the actions of his brothers in blue.

Kelly would later say of the girl, "she's not a saint either."

I said the video was disgusting and showed an abuse of police power.

My partner said he didn't understand why people didn't just do what the police said.

My heart broke a little.

The child in the video ended up with a broken jaw and ribs.

This comes on the heels of another video where a group of black children who were invited to a private pool by a friend had the police called on them.

They were chased down by cops, ordered to sit down and shut up and another swimsuit-clad girl was thrown to the ground.

I've had a few conversations with my partner and others in New Zealand about White Privilege.

I've talked about how, even though things like legal slavery (in my country) and colonization (in theirs and mine) happened well over a century ago, those events have ripple effects that have created economic inequalities and a rigid class system that exists today.

I feel like I never find the right words.

I am still met with responses like, "they really are more violent and lazy though" or "I worked hard for what I achieved, no one handed me anything."

So you worked hard.

And then you went out into the wider world.

And because you had white skin no one automatically assumed you were "more violent," "lazy" or whatever derogatory stereotype those in positions of power hold.

You had an advantage that you never realized or thought about.

You weren't born into a legacy of being part of a conquered group who have struggled generation after generation to be proud of who they were while being made to feel inferior in subtle and non subtle ways.

You never had to try and fit into two worlds simultaneously because yours was the dominant one.

Unfortunately, this causes the privileged to put their own experiences on people of color.

That's why someone like my partner can continue to feel like he lives in a safe and well-ordered world where compliance will make everything go smoothly.

Luckily, he will never have to live through a situation where his car is stopped by authorities because of his skin color.

He will never have to fear that, even if he wasn't doing anything more than existing and even if he follows every instruction given by the police, he might still end up dead because they "felt threatened."

He will never lose a beloved family member to a travesty of justice and then watch in the aftermath as no one questions what happened .

He won't have to wonder why no one in the ranks of the police will stand up and say, "this was too much," or "this is not how we are supposed to do our job."

He will never have to watch these same officers go on a talk show and dig up any mistakes that the deceased loved one made in their lifetime to illustrate that they were a bad person and, on some level, got what they deserved.

He will never have to block out the comments of the privileged group around him who would say, "I'm not racist but, everyone knows they are lazy and more violent."