Nick gave me a gift certificate for a Chinese massage and I was so happy.
I went for the massage earlier this week and I am still wincing from the bruises.
This style of massage is not relaxing. It's called "tui na" which I'm pretty sure is Chinese for "slow assault."
In California I had any number of these massages and they were usually relaxing.
While visiting Suzhou China in 2002, I had a foot massage there that seemed to crush every bone in my feet so I guess I should have been more wary.
The purpose of the tui na massage seems to be gouging as many vital organs as possible.
When not gouging, it involves prolonged poking of pressure points which cause sharp, burning sensations to build up under the skin.
The whole time the massage was taking place I wanted to apologize to the masseur for whatever wrong I had committed against him and his family.
When the massage was over I immediatly felt relief. It was as if I had a new lease on life.
Was this because my chi had been unblocked? No. It was because I was so relieved not to be undergoing the pinching, digging, gouging and kneeding that had been punishing my body for the last 45 minutes.
If you wanted to get this same style "therapy" for free you could just wander into a back alley and insult some street toughs or lay on the floor in a room full of rambunctious preschoolers.
As the bruising fades I realize that the Swedish massage might be the way to go if you don't like paying others to hurt you.
As for the tui na; wo bu yao!
I went for the massage earlier this week and I am still wincing from the bruises.
This style of massage is not relaxing. It's called "tui na" which I'm pretty sure is Chinese for "slow assault."
In California I had any number of these massages and they were usually relaxing.
While visiting Suzhou China in 2002, I had a foot massage there that seemed to crush every bone in my feet so I guess I should have been more wary.
The purpose of the tui na massage seems to be gouging as many vital organs as possible.
When not gouging, it involves prolonged poking of pressure points which cause sharp, burning sensations to build up under the skin.
The whole time the massage was taking place I wanted to apologize to the masseur for whatever wrong I had committed against him and his family.
When the massage was over I immediatly felt relief. It was as if I had a new lease on life.
Was this because my chi had been unblocked? No. It was because I was so relieved not to be undergoing the pinching, digging, gouging and kneeding that had been punishing my body for the last 45 minutes.
If you wanted to get this same style "therapy" for free you could just wander into a back alley and insult some street toughs or lay on the floor in a room full of rambunctious preschoolers.
As the bruising fades I realize that the Swedish massage might be the way to go if you don't like paying others to hurt you.
As for the tui na; wo bu yao!
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