I was walking through Palo Alto with a friend once when a group of young men appeared in front of us and seemed to irritate him by their mere presence.
They were tech bros and he had no time for them.
I had never given this species of nerd much thought so my reaction was neutral.
One of their number was wearing an "edgy" blue blazer and the sight of him morphed my friend into crotchety old man who can't get the kids off his lawn.
These guys make some sort of tech widget, sell it on and become obscenely wealthy before hitting 35.
Their commonness in Silicon Valley ensures a sort of check on their egos. They are one among many.
As long as they're contained in this area the world is usually spared from their insufferable worldviews. They remain mostly harmless.
But what if they found a small, developed nation where they could buy citizenship, set up their own fiefdoms and start throwing cash at government entities to gain influence?
What would that look like?
Maybe it would take the form of a billionaire Trump supporter or a group of brogrammers who host elite hippie dance parties and circle jerk conferences about the future (shudder).
In 2011 Peter Thiel gained New Zealand citizenship despite only spending 12 days in total in the country and stating he had no intention of living here.
Mere mortals are required to spend 1350 in country for five years before they are granted this right but there are extraordinary circumstances (usually fleeing a despot's regime or extraordinary athletic talent).
Thiel's extraordinary circumstances were that he gave lip service to the idea of promoting New Zealand abroad and supposedly wrote a check for 1 million to help with the Christchurch rebuild.
The minister who granted Thiel citizenship said he had been an excellent ambassador for New Zealand. When asked how that could be when he had kept his citizenship secret for six years guy said, "you'll have to ask him."
Like Elon Musk, Theil has a creepy master race type vibe about him.
Musk had five children with his first wife. He told her he was the alpha in the relationship and made her go blonde. He was often irritated with their children for being children but he was glad that they existed because it meant his superior genes would carry on and that he had come a little closer to helping breed a superhuman race. He took up with B actress Talulah Riley and then she left him. Of course they are still friends. His lawyers made sure of that. He's now dating blonde female specimen number three and has plans of going to Mars. Godspeed.
Thiel came to my attention after Gawker wrote an article insinuating he was gay and in a fit of revenge he funded Hulk Hogan's lawsuit against them and sued them into oblivion. He's a great supporter of Trump's but has bought some land in New Zealand just in case ol' Donny goes too far with North Korea. He has also invested in a company that plans on transferring blood from young people to old people. Nothing weird there.
Silicon Valley's bi-product seems to be douches with severe god complexes.
The first of these I think was Steve Jobs. While many tore their hair and nashed their teeth with his passing I took the opportunity to read up on his life. The man was an asshole of the highest order. Yeah, he gave us some great tech but he subjected those who worked for him to utter hell and abandoned his girlfriend to raise their child alone.
As if this wasn't bad enough he seems to have started the trend of standing on a stage in front of sycophants and giving voice to delusions of grandeur.
An article in the New Yorker talked about the rise of paranoid tech preppers who are buying up land in remote places and hording weapons and tinned foods.
These are not nice men. They see themselves as better than the rest of us and are making sure that if Trump brings down civilization as we know it they'll be just fine and everyone can get stuffed.
These are men who would push you out of a life boat so they could have more leg room.
Recently, immigration New Zealand granted residence to Michael and Brian Monahan, brothers who got wealthy selling their start up to Ancestry.com.
They've bought up a bunch of land just north of Wellington and each year they invite minor celebrities, fellow tech geeks and local government officials to party with them. These events involve vegan food, a geodesic dome, white people attempting to dance, yoga, and a stage where a tech weenie gets up in front of a bunch of sycophants and gives voice to delusions of grandeur.
One of the brothers performs cringe-inducing free-style rap he calls "flowetry."
The Monahans have wowed key government figures and convinced Immigration New Zealand to develop a new Innovation visa.
They've rubbed many people the wrong way. Kiwis aren't big on ostentation and buying privilege.
A particular sore spot is the fact that they have five houses that are barely used while housing in and out of Wellington is scarce and expensive.
A neighbor once said of them, "They are ruthless. They're really driven by performance- they are really astute business men who put this big, cheesy grin and smiley face to it all."
An essay written by one of the brother's describes New Zealand as a wonderful democracy.
He's obviously thrilled to have found a small, first world nation that can be dazzled by his cash and persuaded into doing things his way.
Look at all this democracy! Can't wait to undermine it.
These guy's seem to believe that developing one piece of software means they are wise beyond their years on all subjects and that everyone should listen to them.
They didn't chose greatness, it was thrust upon them, etc.
Their new visa promises nothing. It just gives people with tech ideas the chance to come to New Zealand and fumble around with them.
The brothers have no useful ideas of their own but they have that sweet bank balance.
A statement from their Edmund Hillary Fellowship webpage has all the eye-roll worthy buzzwords that make tech people seem so smug:
"We created the Edmund Hillary Fellowship (EFH) to serve as a platform to best leverage humankind's creative potential and entrepreneurial spirit to build new paradigms, and create scalable solutions for the rest of the world. New Zealand is uniquely positioned to capture such potential and become an incubation nation for game-changing innovations."
They forgot to add "disruptive" and "tech profits" but you get the idea-bring in more people like them and create a new Silicon Valley where wealthy young people stand on stages talking about their passions with no real game plan.
Throw cash at the right government offices and before you know it they've made you a VIP.
For some reason this does not make me feel bright about the future.
They were tech bros and he had no time for them.
I had never given this species of nerd much thought so my reaction was neutral.
One of their number was wearing an "edgy" blue blazer and the sight of him morphed my friend into crotchety old man who can't get the kids off his lawn.
These guys make some sort of tech widget, sell it on and become obscenely wealthy before hitting 35.
Their commonness in Silicon Valley ensures a sort of check on their egos. They are one among many.
As long as they're contained in this area the world is usually spared from their insufferable worldviews. They remain mostly harmless.
But what if they found a small, developed nation where they could buy citizenship, set up their own fiefdoms and start throwing cash at government entities to gain influence?
What would that look like?
Maybe it would take the form of a billionaire Trump supporter or a group of brogrammers who host elite hippie dance parties and circle jerk conferences about the future (shudder).
In 2011 Peter Thiel gained New Zealand citizenship despite only spending 12 days in total in the country and stating he had no intention of living here.
Mere mortals are required to spend 1350 in country for five years before they are granted this right but there are extraordinary circumstances (usually fleeing a despot's regime or extraordinary athletic talent).
Thiel's extraordinary circumstances were that he gave lip service to the idea of promoting New Zealand abroad and supposedly wrote a check for 1 million to help with the Christchurch rebuild.
The minister who granted Thiel citizenship said he had been an excellent ambassador for New Zealand. When asked how that could be when he had kept his citizenship secret for six years guy said, "you'll have to ask him."
Like Elon Musk, Theil has a creepy master race type vibe about him.
Musk had five children with his first wife. He told her he was the alpha in the relationship and made her go blonde. He was often irritated with their children for being children but he was glad that they existed because it meant his superior genes would carry on and that he had come a little closer to helping breed a superhuman race. He took up with B actress Talulah Riley and then she left him. Of course they are still friends. His lawyers made sure of that. He's now dating blonde female specimen number three and has plans of going to Mars. Godspeed.
Thiel came to my attention after Gawker wrote an article insinuating he was gay and in a fit of revenge he funded Hulk Hogan's lawsuit against them and sued them into oblivion. He's a great supporter of Trump's but has bought some land in New Zealand just in case ol' Donny goes too far with North Korea. He has also invested in a company that plans on transferring blood from young people to old people. Nothing weird there.
Silicon Valley's bi-product seems to be douches with severe god complexes.
The first of these I think was Steve Jobs. While many tore their hair and nashed their teeth with his passing I took the opportunity to read up on his life. The man was an asshole of the highest order. Yeah, he gave us some great tech but he subjected those who worked for him to utter hell and abandoned his girlfriend to raise their child alone.
As if this wasn't bad enough he seems to have started the trend of standing on a stage in front of sycophants and giving voice to delusions of grandeur.
An article in the New Yorker talked about the rise of paranoid tech preppers who are buying up land in remote places and hording weapons and tinned foods.
These are not nice men. They see themselves as better than the rest of us and are making sure that if Trump brings down civilization as we know it they'll be just fine and everyone can get stuffed.
These are men who would push you out of a life boat so they could have more leg room.
Recently, immigration New Zealand granted residence to Michael and Brian Monahan, brothers who got wealthy selling their start up to Ancestry.com.
They've bought up a bunch of land just north of Wellington and each year they invite minor celebrities, fellow tech geeks and local government officials to party with them. These events involve vegan food, a geodesic dome, white people attempting to dance, yoga, and a stage where a tech weenie gets up in front of a bunch of sycophants and gives voice to delusions of grandeur.
One of the brothers performs cringe-inducing free-style rap he calls "flowetry."
The Monahans have wowed key government figures and convinced Immigration New Zealand to develop a new Innovation visa.
They've rubbed many people the wrong way. Kiwis aren't big on ostentation and buying privilege.
A particular sore spot is the fact that they have five houses that are barely used while housing in and out of Wellington is scarce and expensive.
A neighbor once said of them, "They are ruthless. They're really driven by performance- they are really astute business men who put this big, cheesy grin and smiley face to it all."
An essay written by one of the brother's describes New Zealand as a wonderful democracy.
He's obviously thrilled to have found a small, first world nation that can be dazzled by his cash and persuaded into doing things his way.
Look at all this democracy! Can't wait to undermine it.
These guy's seem to believe that developing one piece of software means they are wise beyond their years on all subjects and that everyone should listen to them.
They didn't chose greatness, it was thrust upon them, etc.
Their new visa promises nothing. It just gives people with tech ideas the chance to come to New Zealand and fumble around with them.
The brothers have no useful ideas of their own but they have that sweet bank balance.
A statement from their Edmund Hillary Fellowship webpage has all the eye-roll worthy buzzwords that make tech people seem so smug:
"We created the Edmund Hillary Fellowship (EFH) to serve as a platform to best leverage humankind's creative potential and entrepreneurial spirit to build new paradigms, and create scalable solutions for the rest of the world. New Zealand is uniquely positioned to capture such potential and become an incubation nation for game-changing innovations."
They forgot to add "disruptive" and "tech profits" but you get the idea-bring in more people like them and create a new Silicon Valley where wealthy young people stand on stages talking about their passions with no real game plan.
Throw cash at the right government offices and before you know it they've made you a VIP.
For some reason this does not make me feel bright about the future.
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