Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Hobbit Part Three

I went to see the final Hobbit installment yesterday and like all the other movies Peter Jackson made from Tolkien's works, this one had some good and some bad moments.

The Bad:

If anybody had possession of all the gold shown in the dwarf hall it would immediately render the substance valueless. As we all know from Econ 101, gold's relative scarcity gives it value. This isn't Jackson's fault. Tolkien wrote the story that way and the hoard represented greediness in mankind not a Middle Earth marketplace guided by an invisible hand.

Every time those damned elves start speaking to each other or making elvish angst faces I start to blush.

The most cringe inducing is when Kate Blanchette comes floating along and does dialogue with anyone. This gives me the worst case of secondary embarrassment ever. I mean ever! It's like the emotionally overwrought conversations you used to imagine yourself having with your favorite boy band member when you were in seventh grade- only this time it's not written out in your diary with the wonky lock that anyone with the grip of a toddler could break into. Everybody can see it! Just stop it already.

As a bird lover, I must protest Jackson's not staying true to the story where the thrush whispers to the archer where the dragon's weak spot is. There was a crow and some giant eagles but the thrush part was my favorite.

The Good:

The landscapes are breathtaking, although Jackson really can't take credit for that. So...um, well done to the mountains, trees, rivers and various weather conditions it took to get everything just right for the background shots.

Jackson featured a kunekune in both this and the second Hobbit film. It's nice to see this lovable pig on the big screen.

The female elf created to keep the film from being a total sausage fest kicks ass as do many of the female villagers from Lake-town.

Billy Connolly's battle pig was awesome.

When the characters weren't humiliating me with their words there were some pretty awesome battle scenes.

Benedict Cumberbatch was interviewed in a special "making of" segment before the film and he said he would like to come back and visit New Zealand.

I have a spare bedroom. I'm just going to put that out there.

In the future I may try to set aside nine hours in my day to watch all three films back to back.

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