Thursday, January 30, 2014

2014 Grammy Overview

I watched the Grammys so I could see how New Zealand's beloved Lorde would do with her four nominations.

The first thing I saw was Beyonce sitting in a chair and singing. Then all of that faded away and there was just this fantastically mesmerizing butt floating around on stage. I don't remember anything else really, just the butt. Eventually the butt went away and some awards were given out.

Lorde performed "Royals" and sounded very good. She did a bit of a twitchy dance but it wasn't too bad.

I was so proud. New Zealand was so proud. Go Kiwis!

Some other people performed too.

Katy Perry sang her pseudo dangerous hit "Dark Horse" and started the number encased in a giant crystal ball. This momentarily got my hopes up that it might malfunction like Derek Smalls' pod in "This Is Spinal Tap" but alas....

Macklemore pissed everyone off by winning four awards, including "Best Rap Album" and then made everyone sigh happily by performing "Same Love" whilst a host of same sex couples were wed.

For a delightful take down of the situation read Jack Hamilton's piece at Slate:

http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2014/01/macklemore_grammy_wins_don_t_hate_the_thrift_shop_rapper_because_he_s_white.html

Pink sang "Just Give Me a Reason" with a tone-deaf and circus ring master mustachioed Nate Ruess. If anything, Nate's off key wailing made listeners more appreciative of Pink's vocal talents and her ability to maintain a game face while having someone belt out atonal noises at close proximity to her ears.

Taylor Swift tried to channel Tori Amos when she whipped her head around at the piano a few times.

I wasn't all that tuned in to her performance because I'm not really interested in cheer captains and couples who are never ever getting back together. I must say though, "Casual cruelty disguised as honesty" was a clever line aimed at all those assholes out there who say nasty things and then try to couch it as "just being honest." Good one Tay-tay!

Ringo Starr sang a song that made me feel like he was one of my uncles who used to sing in the church choir was grasping desperately at having members of his congregation think he was "hip" "contemporary" and "with it."

He did perform on drums with Paul McCartney to one of the latter's more upbeat and likable tunes and it was nice to see them playing together.

Pharrell wore a hat that was obviously lent to him by Dudley Do-Right and took home a couple of awards himself.

My favorite performance was by Daft Punk. Seeing them in their robot suits brought back fond memories of buying their album "Discovery" in a Virgin Mega store in Paris back in 2001 and all the adventures I had in that city. I've loved this group since I first saw their Michel Gondry-directed video for "Around the World."

I felt so proud of young Lorde as she took to the stage for her first win and wore a look of wide-eyed disbelief. She was more composed for her second win but no less lovable in her acceptance of it.

The NPR bought her album and I must say, it's one of the few you can listen to from first to last track and enjoy throughout.

Finally, my favorite part of the event was watching Robin Thicke NOT win anything for his disgusting little ditty "Blurred Lines."

Hopefully his cheesy ass will fade into obscurity and the term "blurred lines" will only be associated with something a myopic sees when they look at the eye chart in an optometrist's office.

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