My school just added a bunch of too green Astro Turf around some of the trees in one of our common areas.
For some reason, it just didn't sit well with me.
Why couldn't we use bark or pebbles? Why must our natural areas wear unnatural ground toupees?
It's had a strange effect on my fellow students too.
During the class breaks I found half a dozen or so of them standing on the artificial grass with brows knit, lifting one foot gingerly and setting it down again. They seemed to feel that something was off about the whole affair.
"It's missing something," I said aloud. And then inspiration struck.
I went to several garden and hardware stores yesterday looking for the perfect Astro Turf compliment.
The helpful assistants showed me all sorts of tasteful rabbits and frogs and the occasional Buddha in repose.
"Do you have anything a little more.....tacky?" I asked.
They did not.
This was obviously a job for the internet.
That's where I found this beauty:
He whistles! And in 7 to 10 business days he will be delivered to my house.
I'm not sure if I want to add more or just let this fellow make a statement by himself. I've considered buying pink flamingos and rainbow colored whirligigs but I don't want to puncture or damage the school's property or do anything that can be construed as vandalism.
I'm thinking of buying some giant red and white spotted mushrooms and maybe a couple of plastic geese or a light-up frosty the snowman-as long as they are brightly colored and an affront to good taste, I'm game.
I'll be sure to photograph the final oeuvre d'art and post it here.
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