The Day The Whole World Got On My Nerves

What is it? Is it a change in the way the wind blows? Is it a planetary alignment? Is it Aunt Flo?

Why are some days filled with countless little nagging things that add up to make you want to lose your sh**?

I underestimated my bank balance and had to scramble to put money in account so next week’s rent will clear. I was trying to pay my phone and internet bill but I couldn’t access my account because I’ve burnt through my paltry broadband allowance and the page for Vodafone (a company that has comically bad service) wouldn’t load. 

Can I just say how irritating it is to pay 75$ a month for broadband that runs out around the 15^th and a simple phone line where calling cell phones from it costs about 50 cents a pop? I’ll bet you didn’t know that New Zealand was trapped in 1998. Well, now you do.

I had to make numerous trips to the bank. First they told me they would charge me $10 to send my payment through to Vodafone. Then I had to walk to the public library and sit on a child’s star shaped stool at tiny child’s table to get on a proper internet connection. Then Vodafone wouldn’t let me get into my account so I had to request a reset of my password which took several minutes to arrive in my email.

There was a big juicy fly buzzing around my head the whole time this was going on and it landed on my arm twice. The feel of it's tiny body resting on me made me so livid that I entertained fantasies of squashing it to a pulp for the next few seconds in order to calm down.

I had to march back to the bank to get my online user number (which is a confusing number that has nothing to do with your actual account) and then go back to the children’s table at the library to pay the Vodafone bill

As I was walking to the bank again, the wind picked up and blew up my dress, causing me to flash people on the sidewalk. It seemed like the sidewalks were just filled with elderly and aimless walkers who moseyed and sashayed and took their sweet time while walking in front of me. I finally made it to the ATM so I could do a cash transfer but the gale force winds kept buffeting me about and caused the flashing of more panty to the elderly sidewalk users.

This afternoon I had to pick up the kids I work with and they were fighting with each other and giving me orders and doing all the things kids normally do but the fact that I am cramping, bloated and hormonally compromised at the moment made me feel mean and testy. 

I had to take them to their rugby games where more errant zephyrs blew us observers around like slips of paper. Also the parking lot was filled with directionless drivers who kept reversing and turning erratically which made me irritable as I watched them.

I'm going to take a deep breath, have an Advil and call it a day.