Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Men Being Manly in the Woods With Other Men




So this is the image from Wilderness Collective's latest outing. From what I can tell, a gaggle of privileged white guys paid a bunch of money to dress alike and tear ass around Yosemite Park on tiny motorbikes because- manliness.

When they arrived at "base camp" there were fancy cheeses and craft cocktails awaiting them.

They cooked meat with a blow torch, recalling a simpler era when primitive man used canned heat to cook animal flesh someone else had killed and shipped from overseas. 

They threw an ax into a giant tree trunk at near point blank range. They slept in small pup tents and smoked cigars the next morning whilst referring to themselves as a "band of brothers."

Below is the video that has to be seen to be fully appreciated. For those of you who adore the grating whine of Ira Glass' voice, here is a story presented by a man who sounds like his less literate cousin:

https://vimeo.com/55420992

What I take away from this is that "being committed" involves locking up your cell phone for more than 72 hours. How did they get through it?

They set up a whole camp by themselves. No one even told them what to do. It. Wasn't. Even. In. The. Instructions.

"In an age of eroding masculinity"...men need to put on matching parkas and experience friendly manly banter, hidden in the woods from the evil estrogen menace known as womankind.

They learned hard lessons from pain, like the pain of having to open your lite beer against a tree because you misplaced the bottle opener and then scraped your knuckle. No woman could ever understand this.

"The cigars were broke out." After this line I started to cry because I realized I'll never know the realness of puttering through a tunnel with a bunch of  hipster poets and coming out the other side two minutes later like a boss.

Well ladies, we will never have this sort of experience in the woods, what with being made of sugar, spices and other highly soluble materials. But maybe, just maybe, we could start a pretty awesome knitting circle where we talk about our periods and swap recipes.

So....who's with me?

2 comments:

  1. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit...

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  2. I know. The website is down right now because the domain name expired but there were a bunch of other posts where the guy wrote about all the manly menz doing man things.

    ReplyDelete